"PS9" (PS9)
07/17/2014 at 17:40 • Filed to: wtfridayalmost | 6 | 9 |
Well I've found (stole) a functioning time machine, and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , so I'm done with this here decade, and maybe - no, definitely - not even trying to deal with the next 3 or 4 that follow. So, Peace.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
I've actually done a bit of time travel already, mostly to cover up the murder that I had to commit to get my hands on the time traveling device, and...well here's a helpful guide for the next 20 years and beyond.
Stop what you're doing and buy all the canned food you can. Get a Tahoe (or your favorite equivalent), strip out all the seats except the drivers, go down to the Walmart, fill that bitch up with canned goods. All the space that is not you and that drivers seat needs to be canned stuff. Don't skimp. Also don't forget to buy a few hundred hand operated can openers, as they will be out of production, and cutting metal with a survival knife to open a can will dull the blade edge you will need for...other reasons.
If you're in debt, don't worry about it anymore. If money is worthless, then so is debt.
A few folks will get wind of what's happening and begin swarming the gas stations to hoard the gas. That's a terrible idea. Don't do it. Don't go to the gas station and join all the other sitting ducks out there, and a large stockpile of gas with no significant means of defense only makes you a target. (When I say, 'significant', I'm taking about a few shoulder mounted missile launchers and a minigun here, a shotty or your illegal MP5 will stop one person, but not a hundred or a thousand)
Think hunting animals is wrong? Get over it. Or starve to death. Your choice.
Somewhere between 2019-2027, you will need to find a way to stay off the surface of the Earth for a while. There are secret, already built shelters in 3 places; L.A., Miami, and New York. By the time it's needed, Miami will be underwater along with most of southern florida, so don't go to that one. If you're not anywhere near New York, or L.A., move. Do it while the currency is still good to use now.
2035-2050 will be unfortunately perilous. If you're around during this time, remember this piece of advice; if you think you're being followed, you are. DO NOT TURN AROUND. Run away, and hope an authority figure finds you before it's too late.
Well, that's all I can say now. I'm off to the year 2275, which is pretty rocking because [REDACTED FOR PARADOX REASONS]. I wish every single opponaut and all the people of earth the best of luck. I really do. 'cause boy are you ever gonna need it. Whelp, C ya.
ttyymmnn
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 17:48 | 1 |
Be sure to take some clean underwear. And say Hi to Rod Taylor for me.
Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 17:48 | 0 |
Mad Max time.
EL_ULY
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 17:51 | 1 |
dude heck yeah! Take a bunch of pics!
FYI, i'm sure the person you murdered deserved it :] I mean, who stands in front of a DeLorean going 88?
Takuro Spirit
> EL_ULY
07/17/2014 at 17:54 | 2 |
.............Indians?
PS9
> EL_ULY
07/17/2014 at 17:58 | 2 |
Actually...he was with a lady friend, and had just finished becoming his own grandfather.
I mean...considering that, I didn't actually kill him, right? He won't be born for another few generations, how can I 'kill' a person that doesn't actually exist yet?
BATC42
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 18:03 | 0 |
And I just finished watching BTTF Part 3 a few minutes ago. Talk about timing.
Wait. Did you know I was watching it? That's heavy stuff man.
EL_ULY
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 18:06 | 0 |
agreed :]
Dr_Watson
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 18:43 | 0 |
steal that from a restaurant in Chicago?
Agrajag
> PS9
07/17/2014 at 21:53 | 0 |
2275? Not a bad year. Just stay out of New New Florida which is located in present day Cambodia.